Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Mayor of Stupidelphia.

It's that time, at last. The time has come for us to cast our ballots for the number one candidate in the race for Mayor of Stupidelphia.

To qualify as Mayor of Stupidelphia, a person should, obviously, through his or her actions, thoughts or words, personify stupidity like no one else.The candidate must be someone who is breathtakingly stupid.......mind numbingly stupid.....stupidité par excellence.

Below, I've listed four people who I feel are most qualified to fill that position.It should go without saying that the Mayor of Stupidelphia would have to be someone who voted for Barack Obama - twice. Although I can't be certain, each of the four nominees appear to fall in line in that area. But, as stupid as voting twice for Obama may be, it takes more than that to become Mayor of Stupidelphia. After all, millions of stupid people did that and they can't all be Mayor.

No, the Mayor of Stupidelphia should be a person so mind-bogglingly stupid that neither Patrick Star nor Otto West would stand a fair chance.

Candidate #1)
Nancy Pelosi.

Ms. Pelosi is an obvious choice. She has said so many incredibly stupid things that the difficulty for me lies in picking just one example. One idea of hers, however, is particularly stupid. According to the Huffington Post, Pelosi believes "Hillary Clinton Would Be 'Best Qualified' To Run In 2016". I kid you not. Nancy Pelosi is that  stupid.

Candidate #2)
Public Policy Polling director Tom Jensen.

In a poll asking voters in Alaska who they would favor as a GOP presidential candidate, Jensen included George Zimmerman among the likely choices. George Zimmerman might be the only living American citizen who would lose  to Hillary Clinton in a Presidential race. He couldn't win if  Robert Zimmerman wrote his campaign song.

Candidate #3)
Paul Rampell

In an opinion piece for the Washington Post, Rampell, a lawyer from Palm Beach, opined that the state of marriage - being what it is today - shows we should have "wedleases" rather than "wedlock". Since marriage is going to be temporary anyway, he believes, two people should "commit themselves to marriage for a period of years — one year, five years, 10 years, whatever term suits them. The marital lease could be renewed at the end of the term however many times a couple likes."
I'm not quite sure why Rampell limited the wedlease idea to couples.

Candidate #4)
Lauren Rankin.

In an article for Truthout, Rankin says "Not Everyone Who Has an Abortion Is a Woman". As she sees it, we have "Designated Females at Birth" - that is men born with female bodies, getting pregnant and having abortions. These folks may have the equipment that permits them to become pregnant, but Rankin and her fellow travelers say that these folks aren't women.

Honorable Mention.

If this were an election for the city council members of Stupidelphia, where we could have multiple winners, then I'd probably nominate that relatively small group of people who believe in their heart of hearts that Pope Francis will one day soon allow women priests in the Catholic Church, along with the Church's celebration of same-sex "marriage".

But this vote is for Mayor of Stupidelphia and only one person can have the job.

(Inspired by CMR).

2 comments:

LarryD said...

I can only vote for one?

I vote for Paul Rampell, with Pelosi as his Lieutenant Mayor. If there is such a thing.

Robert said...

Lieutenant Mayor sounds reasonable to me. So be it.