Grandfather, father and son.

My father was born in Buffalo,NY in 1924; he died in Atlanta, GA in 1967 when I was 15 years old.We lived far away from his place of birth and he rarely spoke about his childhood.I can look at family photos and I can imagine what his early life was like.Now,83 years after my father's birth,I have a 14 month old son.There are times when I look at my son and it is as if I am looking at my father as he might have been as a child.When we are very young we often see our fathers as supermen.... towers of strength.But, when I see him in my son, I can see how vulnerable my father was. There isn't anyone alive today that remembers my father as a baby.There isn't anyone left who can tell me about the baby in this photo.All I have is my imagination.

Foreign Encounters in Dumaguete

In an earlier post, I wrote of some of the misunderstandings and mistaken ideas some Americans have of Filipinos (and vice versa ). After reading a post from another blogger and her encounter with a foreigner in Dumaguete, I felt I should examine further the Filipino/ American relationship. I've seen how Americans act differently while abroad. In order to explain how differently (and maybe why) I want to first look at the way Filipinas act towards other Filipinas while they're here in the U.S.. My wife and I will occasionally meet a Filipina who is unknown to us. Usually when this happens, the two Filipinas will approach one another, chat for a bit and learn all about each other. Of course, there's no guarantee the two will become friends, but we have made some very dear and close friends from these accidental meetings. Other Filipinas we know here behave the same way.

Compare this to fellow Americans meeting in Philippines. The Americans I've met on a plane traveling to or from Philippines (or while waiting in a Manila airport) have been, for the most part, very friendly. It’s a different story meeting an American in the provinces. I've been snubbed more than once while on Siquijor or in Dumaguete. To be completely fair, it is often difficult to tell which snubbers are Americans and which ones are Australians or Europeans without hearing them speak.

On one particular trip, after having been ignored by foreigners for more than two weeks, I made it a point to speak to every white person I met - much to the great surprise to some.

Being white in Philippines is different than being white at home. While in Dumaguete, I've been approached in shops by total strangers with offers to sell property to me. I've been approached by countless beggars asking for a handout. I can see why some would simply "turn off" the outside world of strangers while there, but there is really no excuse for the rudeness of many of the foreigners. On the other hand, the obsequious behavior of some Filipinos towards foreigners can have a bizarre influence on the foreigner as well. Being treated like you can do no wrong can go to anyone’s head.

When the above photo was taken, I wanted to climb atop the lifeguard’s tower but, I was reluctant to do so because of a sign forbidding it. Our Filipina friend, who took the photo said,

“Don’t worry. No one will say anything to you. You’re a white guy.”

Tower of Babel

According to the website us-english.org twenty-eight of the fifty U.S. states have passed "English as Official Language" legislation.There is considerable anxiety in parts of this country concerning the new-found prevalence of Spanish.Many Americans are upset by the notion of this country becoming bi-lingual.They claim that having two "official" languages will only lead to disunity.At first glance, it might seem that the situation on Philippines gives credence to that idea.There are eight major languages spoken in Philippines with countless numbers of dialects and variations.There has been a governmental movement towards making "Filipino" the standard.Critics of this say that "Filipino" is actually "Tagalog" and there is some resistance to the language from native speakers of the other seven.Unlike the Japan Archipelago, the Philippine Archipelago was never a "natural" country. The country of Japan is populated by a single ethic group speaking a common language.This is the complete opposite of the history of Philippines.The islands included in the Republic of Philippines are the remnants of a Spanish colony where a common language was not encouraged.Rather than being united by a common language,the unifying factor in Philippines is the Catholic faith shared by 80% of the population.This faith may work to keep the country together despite the linguistic and ethnic differences among the people.The U.S. will never know the advantage of having a unifying religion.There are a great many forces working to dissolve the country and I don't know if "English Only" can stop the tide.

Father and son share a cold.

My wife and I decided to put our 14 month old son into daycare 2 days a week so my wife could get in a full work-week.I can be Mr.Mom most days but not every week day.As soon as he was enrolled he caught a nasty cold from another child.As for the extra money my wife earned that week,well, after paying for the daycare, the visit to the Doctor's office and the meds.,it was not worth the aggravation.He was miserable for about a week and though he's better now, it's still hanging on in a mild form even now.
It wasn't long before I caught the cold from the baby.I know what he's been going thru and it's not pleasant.Sore throat-runny nose-stuffy nose-sneezing-headaches. It's amazing to me that he was not crabbier than he was. I feel absolutely horrid.It's nearly impossible to take care of him and work on the website and blogs too.I hope my wife doesn't come down with this too.I don't wish this on my worst enemy.I'm hoping to be up and about and wrestling with the boy soon.It's more of the type of father and son activity we should be doing.

Misunderstanding

I am continually amazed at the lack of understanding many of my fellow Americans have about life in other countries.When people discover that my wife is from Philippines, they often ask rather bizarre questions and/or make equally absurd statements.

Most do not an understanding of the difficulties or the time involved in bringing someone here from anywhere other than Western Europe. Most assume it is merely a matter of buying the ticket and bringing the person along with you.Most are astonished to learn that my wife did not immediately become a U.S. citizen upon our marriage.There's been more than a few that believed I would become a citizen of Philippines should we have decided to marry there rather than here.

Some have asked me about the availability of marijuana and other "recreational" drugs, as if there was some pot smoker's shangri la in another part of the world.These same folks are surprised when I explain that the U.S. is more tolerant of drug use than Catholic Philippines.

After sex and drugs,the next most popular topic is money.Everyone wants to know"how much is our money worth in their money?".Telling someone that a dollar is worth 48 (or 47 or 50 or whatever) Philippine pesos doesn't tell the whole story.It's difficult to explain that many Filipinos earn less than $5.00 a day but that $5.00 there does go a bit further than $5.00 here.

A good many Filipinos have misconceptions about life in the U.S. as well.Many believe we are all rich.Many believe everyone here has a fine house and the entire country looks like New York city or Los Angeles. It's more understanding why Filipinos might think that way, given their exposure to America movies.

I'm convinced that the majority of Americans would benefit-at least spiritually- from a visit to Philippines I can't imagine anyone taking for granted their life here after seeing the material poverty in that country.