Fun With GIMP

Ad Placement

Very often, after publishing a blog post, I will return to the scene of the crime, as it were, to reread the post, to check for misspellings, typos and that sort of thing. The truth be told, I'm not as good an editor as I should be.

While looking over my latest posts, I noticed the "random" Google ad that made it's appearance between Vern the Vlogger and The Interview .

As one can see from the screenshot I've posted, the Google ad is for a place called thecreationof hair.com - a product for quick hair regrowth. One can also see from the photos in those two posts and the accompanying Youtube video that both Vern and myself are.......how do you say it..... follically challenged.

It's hard for me to believe that this ad placement was simply a coincidence. You can't tell me that Google doesn't spy on our online activity.

Three Men In a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)

As I sit here, typing away, I've just finished reading the last novel I will manage to read in 2019 - Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog) by Jerome K. Jerome. With only one day remaining in this year, it is unlikely that I can finish reading another before January 1st.

I discovered this gem recently while going over an online list of what someone believes to be the 100 best novels written in English. I was looking for something to read when I came upon the list. There, at number 25 was this wonderful little book.

Naturally, I didn't expect that I would have read every novel on the list, but I thought that I would have heard of either every novel, or at least the author. In this case, I was surprised that a novel I had never heard of, by a writer I didn't know, would be at number 25 on the list.

After reading a positive review and the wikipedia article on the book, I found an ebook copy and set it aside to read at first opportunity.

The novel is surprisingly funny for something written in 1889, and I'm hardly the first to say "how undated it appears to modern readers – the jokes have been praised as fresh and witty".

Although I loved the book, I don't know if I'd put it on a list of the 100 best novels written in English. The Maltese Falcon - which I also enjoyed, made the list as well. It's another book which, while I enjoyed reading it, I feel doesn't belong on such a list.

Obviously, someone else does, so what do I know?

Not A Laughing Matter

Or should I say NALM?

A couple of days ago, Rush Limbaugh made reference to an article at U.K Telegraph which stated that, according to a survey, in the United States seventy percent of people between the ages of 16 and 24 had never heard of Mao Tse-tung and 40% of them had never heard of Joseph Stalin.

Perhaps that's why I received so little response to a MAO - LMAO meme I had posted on Facebook or the jpeg of Hillary Clinton dressed like the Chairman. I guess nobody understood the reference.

I'm reasonably sure that even though these young people might not know of Mao Tse-tung and all the horrendous things he did to the Chinese people, they should recognize Bernie and AOC.

Barbra Streisand to Buy Canadian IHOPs

In recent Tweets, noted Clinton sycophant, Barbra Streisand is claiming that Donald Trump is causing her to gain weight.

"I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!" Streisand on Saturday.

To satisfy her ever growing need for pancakes and maple syrup, Streisand is looking to purchase several IHOP restaurants in Canada.

"I can cover several bases at once", she said. "I can maintain a constant supply of pancakes for myself, and for all my progressives friends who have fled to Canada following Trump's taking over the White House."

Photo Replay

I've posted this photo a number of times, the last time being March 17, 2011. This is one of my favorite photos of Barack Obama. It appeared on line in 2008. He really is eating an ice cream cone, but I added the crown myself. I look at it as my crowning achievement.

I like this photo so much, I felt it was due a republication.

The Pantsuit Should've Been a Clue

You Know Times Are Hard..........

........when James Bond has to drive a pedicab in Philippines.

Cultural Appropriation?

After San Francisco State University environmental science student Cory Goldstein was attacked by a black student for sporting dreadlocks on campus, I began to worry that, with my shaved head, I might also be accused of cultural appropriation by some overly sensitive individual.

If one does a search of images of "black men" using Google, one is more likely to come across images of men with either shaved heads or very short hair. Sporting dreadlocks appears to be more common among, so called, "non conformist" whites than among black men.

I worry about the future of the United States.

Dems Extinguish the Bern with Preparation H.

Dems Extinguish the Bern with Preparation H.

Trump Piñatas

I like to applaud the entrepreneurial spirit whenever I see examples of it, and I find nothing wrong with the concept of someone making money off selling Donald Trump piñatas. The Washington Post recently published a photo of a vendor in Tijuana, Mexico doing just that.

My only problem with the Tijuana Trump piñata is the obvious fact that the one shown above does not resemble Trump. For one thing, the hair on the piñata is much nicer.

Putting "Donald Trump piñatas" (without the"") into a search engine, I came upon some piñatas that actually do look like the Donald - much more than the Tijuana Trump piñata.

For those Trump fans who object to this, just be thankful that no one has come up with a Trump Caganer.

Heathcliff's Filet-O-Fish Adventure

In a recent posting on his blog, Village Idiot Savant 2016, my friend Dom tells of his less than satisfying Filet-o-Fish sandwich from McDonald’s. He had been rushed that Friday morning and unable to prepare a packed lunch, and it being a Friday during Lent, his choices were very limited.

Dom's mentioning of the Filet-o-Fish sandwich brought to my mind a story told to me by an American friend of mine. Rather than use my friend's real name, I'll substitute the name Heathcliff - not because my American friend is particularly sinister, but I've just finished reading Wuthering Heights and the name is fresh in my mind.

My friend Heathcliff is married to a Filipina from Cebu. At the time this incident took place, Heathcliff's father-in-law, "Pops", had been living with Heathcliff and his wife - originally planning to make the U.S. his home. However, for reasons unknown to me, Pops living there was not working out and he was to return to Cebu.

It was decided that Pops would not be able to fly from Atlanta to Cebu on his own, and as Heathcliff's wife, Gertrude would not be able to take time off from work, Heathcliff would accompany Pops and stay a few weeks at a resort before returning to the U.S..

After seeing Pops home safely, Heathcliff checked into the resort, where, from what I've been told, proceeded to do absolutely nothing for two weeks. The only things he found interesting enough to relate to us, was his regrettable experience with Filipino spaghetti and his decision to live solely on McDonald's Filet-o-Fish sandwiches for the duration of his stay in Cebu; a filetofishetarian, if you will.

In relating this tale, Heathcliff did not explain to me why he did not alter his diet with the occasional Quarter Pounder w/cheese or Big Mac.

After about a week of Heathcliff's Filet-o-Fish diet, the manager of the McDonald's asked Heathcliff  how long he was planning on staying in the area, as they had served more Filet-o-Fish to my friend than they had ever sold. It was a record for them, and the manager needed to know how much more of the frozen fish fillets he would need to order to keep up with Heathcliff's consumption.

Unfortunately, there is no spectacular ending to this story, other than the fact that my friend Heathcliff lived to tell about it.

Benito Mussolini With Trump Hair.

I included in yesterday's post [Trump - Benito Mussolini with (Bad) Hair] a photo featuring Donald Trump as Mussolini. I had used GIMP to paste Trump's face onto an image of the Fascist dictator in uniform.

After I had published that post, I came across a photo where someone had pasted Trump hair onto Mussolini. I liked that photo so much, I had to fetch it and post it here.

I wish I could say it was my work, but it's not. On one of Il Duce's lapel, we find the words "The Pixel Factor". I did an Internet search, hoping to find other great images. Sadly, nothing else lives up to Mussolini with Trump hair.

Microsoft's How-Old.net - Epic Fail

Thanks to an article at CNN (How old do you really look? This website will tell you in seconds) I learned of a website created by Microsoft called how-old.net.which utilizes some sort of computer algorithm to analyze photos uploaded to the site and "guess" the age of the person in the photo.

It's not always accurate.

Trying out the site, I uploaded 2 different photos of myself to see what age the algorithm came up with for me. The age difference in the two analyses was more than ten years. To top it off, the photo where I thought I looked older was the one that the website said I looked younger.

I had an idea that the absence of hair on my head might be skewing the outcome. I decided to take one particular photo and with the power of GIMP, I added hair and uploaded the results to how-old.net to see what would happen.

The results follow:

                                         
                                                 

I Saw This Photo and Thought of LarryD.

I came across this photo on the National Catholic Distorter website and immediately thought of LarryD and his Acts of the Apostasy blog. Those familiar with Larry and his work will understand why.

If you read this post, Larry, you're welcome to it.

No 'gay emojis' For Me, Either.

The BBC and other fine news organizations are reporting that Russia 'may ban gay emojis' under 'propaganda' law.

Seeing the direction that Europe and the United States are taking regarding same sex "marriage", Russia has outlawed the distribution of "propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations".

Mikhail Marchenko, a Russian senator, pointed out that gay emojis, from social media, promote non-traditional sexual relationships and disrespect for parents and other family members.

According to a Time.com article on the same subject,

Though the Russian probe into emojis will focus specifically on Facebook, users of Twitter and Apple’s new operating system for the iPhone are also able to include rainbow flags and other gay-themed icons in their posts and messages.
Davydov, the Young Guard chairman, said that these services could also become the target of investigations if Russian citizens begin to complain about them.

Just as I posted Russia's heterosexual flag in show of support, I've taken the original image of the gay emojis from the BBC article, and transformed the emojis into heterosexuals.

You're welcome.

Walmart ISIS Cake Causes Major Butt Hurt.

In Slidell, Louisiana a good ol' boy peckerwood redneck gentlemen went in his local Walmart and attempted to purchase a cake decorated with a replica of the Confederate battle flag with the words "Heritage, not Hate" spelled out atop the flag.

When Walmart refused to decorate the cake according to his instructions, the good ol' boy peckerwood redneck gentlemen underwent a major butt hurt.

As explained in in his Youtube video, the good ol' boy peckerwood redneck gentlemen printed a copy of an ISIS flag and took that design to another Walmart location in order to have a cake decorated with it.

The good ol' boy peckerwood redneck gentlemen does not explain why he took the ISIS design to a different Walmart. I suspect the good ol' boy peckerwood redneck gentlemen created a scene at the first location and was either too embarrased to return or else was banned from that particular Walmart for acting out.

The good ol' boy peckerwood redneck gentlemen goes on to vent his outrage toward Walmart, saying the company had some 'splainin' to do.

Knowing Walmart associates as I do, I'm reasonably sure that the cake decorator at the second Walmart had no idea the image was that of the ISIS flag. It's also quite possible that the cake decorator believed the flag to be a 'sex toy flag' like the one flown in a London gay pride parade.

The Problem With Internet Quotes..........

In a recent post [Trust thou not in fake memes – Not William Shakespeare] Mark Shea was expressing his frustration over people who generate fake memes by taking a phony quote, pasting the quote onto a photo of Pope Francis, and attributing the phony quote to the Pope.

Someone left the following in the comment box:

"The problem with Internet quotes is that you can't always depend on their accuracy." - Abraham Lincoln, 1864

I remembered seeing that quote before. I was reasonably certain that I had also seen the joke used as a quote from other famous (and infamous) pre-Internet folk.

I've gathered a few of the memes from Google Images and added a few of my own.

The Blonde Dalai Lama.

Like all Progressives, American Buddhists have no sense of humor.

I classify American Buddhists with Progressives, because for the most part they are political Progressives who were looking for some religious meaning in this world and have latched on to an Americanized version of Buddhism because, simply put, it isn't.....well, Christianity.

For the Progressive, Christianity just isn't hip enough; Christianity isn't for those special folks - the elite, the Brights. But, you can call yourself a Buddhist and go on believing whatever un-Buddhist depravity you want to believe and no one is going to know the difference. No one is going to call you out on your American Buddhism but me, and who am I?

To show just how little sense of  humor the America Buddhists have, we need look no further than their reaction to the latest story concerning the Dalai Lama.

For years, the Chinese government has been attempting to co-op the Dalai Lama's next reincarnation so as to exercise more control over the people of Tibet. In what can probably be called a bit of tongue in cheek poking at the Chinese government, the Dalai Lama recently said in an interview, that after he has finally shed this mortal coil, he will most likely reincarnate as a mischievous, blond female. He added that she will have an attractive face because no one will pay attention to her otherwise.

Over at the Buddhist channel at Patheos.com, not a few irate American Buddhists have their knickers in a twist over his comments.

One such Buddhist wrote:

"The Dalai Lama is a fraud. And this comment reflects his true nature.He talks of peace and tolerance abroad and destroys it in the Tibetan exile community. He talks of harmony and has caused division amongst Buddhists. He talks of kindness and eats veal. He is the worst example of a Buddhist, let alone a monk or a human being."

Another writes:

"Wow can it get any worse. The world's most famous "Buddhist" talks about reincarnation in this way? I'm so grateful this politician is not my teacher. And to say a woman will only receive attention if her face is attractive...what a creep. Forget all that stuff Buddha taught about cultivating a good heart hey! AND what's with the mischievous bit your "holiness"?"

In Asia, however, comic artists in Taiwan and Hong Kong have been inspired by the Dalai Lama's comments to draw images and to write stories of the future 15th Dalai Lama as a blonde woman. They've even gone so far as to create their own Facebook page (what else?) The Blonde Dalai Lama .

The page is in Chinese, but there are lots of drawings, and we all know the relationship between words and pictures.

America's First Jewish President?

As I mentioned in an earlier post, it is no secret that there is little love between the Obamas and the Clintons.

President Obama may feel some pride in the fact that his daughter is worth more than the Clintons' daughter when it comes to a Kenyan Bride Token. Having one's oldest child given the value of 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats must be extremely heart warming for Barack and Michele.

On the other side, I'm certain that it bothers Obama to no end that Bill Clinton was the first "First Black President". Not being satisfied with being the second "First Black President", Barack Obama has proclaimed himself to be America's First Jewish President.

From the Washington Times:

"In an interview by an Israeli TV station, former Obama adviser David Axelrod recalled the president venting in a moment of contemplation about criticisms that he doesn’t support Israel strongly enough, JPupdates.com reported.

'You know, I think I am the closest thing to a Jew that has ever sat in this office,' the president told Mr. Axelrod".