Tuesday, July 10, 2007

My Interview with Peta

After learning yesterday about the jail break in Dalton and the freeing of Heywood Jadoit, I had to leave Iceland immediately and head back to Georgia.When I arrived home, I found a note waiting for me from Peta asking me for an interview for the blog concerning the Heywood Jadoit Affair.
I wasn't quite sure why actress Peta Wilson would request an interview or what she had to do with all this, but I wasn't going to turn her down.
I was given very complicated instructions....I was not to know the location of the meeting.I was picked up by a driver who blindfolded me so I could not see where we were going.We drove for nearly an hour.....I don't even know whether we traveled north or south, east or west.
Imagine my dismay when we arrived at our destination and my blindfold was removed; I had evidently misread the note. I was not interviewing Peta Wilson, but a representative of P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). Of course, given what I knew of the incident, this made more sense but, that did not lessen my disappointment.
What follows is the results of that encounter.

RTS:In your note, you mentioned that you wanted to have your say about the Jadoit Affair.Here's you chance.
Peta:This is really important to our organization.As you know, we were instrumental in instituting the law that brought Jadoit to jail.As animal lovers,
RTS:....and people haters.....
Peta:....as animal lovers we couldn't allow the public singing of a song that glorified feather plucking.
RTS:So this escape probably has you upset, to say the least.
Peta:Of course, but that's not all.This whole affair has put us in a peculiar situation.We find ourselves in the embarrassing position of having to side with George Bush and the U.S. in all this......it's very disconcerting.
RTS:Bless your heart.
Peta:We would feel much better about all this if we could use the President as a whipping boy.Not to mention, we don't like having to side against the Communist Party of Canada.But,unfortunately,we've no other choice than to confront the C.P.C.. We've got our informants out trying to locate this group that freed Jadoit.
RTS:Rumor has it that they're hold-up in North Carolina.
Peta:I'm not at liberty to give away too many details, but this will come to a head very soon.We wanted to have a chance to let everyone hear our side before the manure came in contact with the rotary oscillator.
RTS: And I appreciate being able to be the first to blog this.....
Peta: Your blog is highly read and world renown and we felt it was the perfect vehicle to get our point across.
RTS: Thank you
Peta: No, thank you.

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