RE: BE CAREFUL OF HOODLUMS

I want to paste an actual email I received today.I am not making this up.I suppose I'm expected to believe that the Nigerian are trying do something about their reputation as scammers. Here goes:

NIGERIAN INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENT
ANTI-FRAUD UNIT
4TH FLOOR MARY LAND
LAGOS NIGERIA
MOTTO: SECURITY WATCH.
FROM THE DESK
OF: MR MARTINS OKOH.
DEPUTY: DR DONALD SMITH

RE: BE CAREFUL OF HOODLUMS

ATTN:

Based on the finding in this investigastion department we wish to warn
you
against some touts. We have been informed that some touts are contating
you in respect to the collection of your fund in the total sum of $35
Million U.S.A Dollars that was long approved in your favour through the
Global Exchange Bank of Nigeria. As a matter of fact we have been on
this
investigation assignments for some time codely known to no one but the
Presidency and some top government official who are in support of this
investigation team to help stop fraudalent activities in this country.

Although we have been able to come up with some good result about the
people that have extorted money from you illegally and i wish to list
them
so that you will personally indicate them by writting back because we
want
to make your paymen to you without any delay but we must surely deal
and
bring this names to book if only you will indicate correctly any of
them.

The names of the Touts that have been arrested are as follows:

1)PROF CHARLES SOLODO
2)CHIEF JOSEPH SANUSI
3)DR. R.RASHEED
4)BARRISTER AWELE
6)BARRISTER UCHEUZO WILLIAMS.
7)Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Ebi
Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
8)Mr. Tunde Lemo Deputy Governor - Financial Sector
Surveillance /Board Member
9)Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia
(10)Usman Shamsuddeen- Deputy Governor - Corporate Services / Board
Member

The above listed names are been traced/investigated by the police and
some
of them have elope the country and note that if any of them is caught
and
find guilty he/she we go to jailed for 25 years(twenty five years) as
it
is under the Degree 47 of the constituition of this bank under section
of
criminal law. So we are waiting for you to write us and inform us if
any
of the above names have once contacted you in respect to the your fund
if
yes dont waste time to indicate it immediately.

Note that the only office/paying bank that have right to pay or contact
you in this Transfer is the GLOBAL EXCHANGE BANK OF NIGERIA which is
been
headed the bank Governor. You must deal directly with them and do what
so
ever you are asked to do because that is the only way you will achive
the
success of the transaction.

We applogise on behalf of the President and the people of Nigeria for
any
dealy and lost this most have coursed you and promise that such thing
will
not happen again.And if you are dealing with any one of them regarding
this payment we urge you to stop because you are taking a big risk and
you
never find your money any where because your money is with the above
named
bank.

Finally, we are expecting to hear from you today Thanks for your good
understanding while we wait for your urgent response to this mail for
further directives.


Yours truely,

MR MARTINS OKOH(Chairman Investigation Dept)
DR. DONALD SMITH(Deputy Chairman Investigation Dept).

Images of Fetal Development

I recently received an email from Priest for Life which included links to images of fetal development.I made my own page using the links and the link to that page can be found here.

Update: 9/18/2001
This post has been updated with this post.

Peaves

After more than two weeks of insanity, I've run out of ideas for the Heywood series.I'm sure some reading this are saying, "You ran out of good ideas a long time ago".
For the past day or so, out of boredom, I've been hitting the "Next Blog" link at the top of the page and going from random blog to random blog.
For some reason, doing that continually takes me to blogs written in either Spanish or Portuguese with only the occasional English language blog thrown in.I can't judge the blogs I can't read but, I can tell you, most of the ones I come across in English never make to my bookmarks.
I wanted to come up with a list of my own blog rules......I doubt if I'll come up with 10 despite the Moses/10 Commandments jpg you see here.
So far, my top pet peaves regarding blogs are as follows:
1) Stop putting so many You Tube videos on your page.Not everybody has the big, monster, Tim "the Tool-Man" Taylor PC you have. All those vids slow everything down.If you really think we need to see the video (which you didn't create anyway ) just give us a brief description and a link.
2) The same goes for music....for the same reason.
3) Your use of profanity does not make you come across as a rebel, but rather, you come across as someone with a limited vocabulary.
While writing this, I opened a tab to look at a few blogs.I wanted to see if I could come up with a #4 for the list. The first blog I came upon broke rules # 1 and 2 and caused the browser to lock up....almost made me break rule # 3.
I guess I better stop now while I'm ahead.

Democrats converge on N.C.

The top three Democratic Party candidates for President-Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards- arrived in the North Carolina mountains today to try and stop the fighting between elements of P.E.T.A. and members of the Communist Party of Canada.The link to the I.N.N. story can be found here.

My Interview with Condoleezza Rice

I've always felt that an important part of my standing as a world renown blogger is my presenting all sides to any and all stories that I'm covering.
I've written several entries concerning the so called Heywood Jadoit affair, and in the interest of balance and fair play, I recently contacted U.S. Sec. of State, Condi Rice and requested an interview for the blog. She was more than eager to give her thoughts on the situation.
RTS:I was a bit surprised when I learned that Bush and PM Harper were intending to finish the 'Rasslin'-n-Reykjavik' in spite of the fact that Jadoit had escaped from jail and was currently in North Carolina with members of the C.P.C.
Condi:Yes, even though this affair may soon come to a conclusion, both Mr. Bush and Mr. Harper felt in the interest of national pride, someone had to come out as an all out winner in the best 2 out of 3 arm wrestling event.
RTS:I've been a bit preoccupied with the events in N.C....I haven't kept track of the score in the contest.
Condi: Tied, one game each; though President Bush is confident he'll come out the clear winner.
RTS:It's also surprising to me that Bush hasn't sent in Federal troops to stop the fighting between the C.P.C. and P.E.T.A..
Condi:We're monitoring this situation carefully; but at present the President feels it best that the two combatants duke it out.
RTS:On another note: there's talk that you may run for President in 2008. Any truth to that?
Condi:As you know,since 1989 there has been either a Bush or Clinton in the White House.Those of us in power now want to keep it that way.We're not too happy about the idea of Hillary Clinton as Commander in Chief......but we're not too sure how Laura Bush will work out. As George's "2nd wife", so to speak, we could still maintain the status quo by my winning the election.
RTS:Of course, you'd have to win the election first.
Condi:Ha,ha,ha.What an interesting concept. A bit naive, but interesting.
RTS:You do have to receive the most votes in the election.
Condi: Stop...ha ha ha, you're killing me!!! It's no wonder your blog is so popular; you're so @$#@^*# funny.

P.E.T.A. vs. C.P.C. in N.C.

After publishing yesterday's blog entry, I discovered a "glitch" with the images I put into the entry.I suspect it was sabotage by either the CPC or PETA.....I'm not quite sure which.Those of you who had a problem viewing the images yesterday should be able to see them today if you choose to check out yesterday's post again.
In yesterday's interview,the PETA representative hinted that a crisis was brewing.I had no idea that they would invade the mountain stronghold of the CPC.That story can be found here.

My Interview with Peta

After learning yesterday about the jail break in Dalton and the freeing of Heywood Jadoit, I had to leave Iceland immediately and head back to Georgia.When I arrived home, I found a note waiting for me from Peta asking me for an interview for the blog concerning the Heywood Jadoit Affair.
I wasn't quite sure why actress Peta Wilson would request an interview or what she had to do with all this, but I wasn't going to turn her down.
I was given very complicated instructions....I was not to know the location of the meeting.I was picked up by a driver who blindfolded me so I could not see where we were going.We drove for nearly an hour.....I don't even know whether we traveled north or south, east or west.
Imagine my dismay when we arrived at our destination and my blindfold was removed; I had evidently misread the note. I was not interviewing Peta Wilson, but a representative of P.E.T.A. (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). Of course, given what I knew of the incident, this made more sense but, that did not lessen my disappointment.
What follows is the results of that encounter.


RTS:In your note, you mentioned that you wanted to have your say about the Jadoit Affair.Here's you chance.
Peta:This is really important to our organization.As you know, we were instrumental in instituting the law that brought Jadoit to jail.As animal lovers,
RTS:....and people haters.....
Peta:....as animal lovers we couldn't allow the public singing of a song that glorified feather plucking.
RTS:So this escape probably has you upset, to say the least.
Peta:Of course, but that's not all.This whole affair has put us in a peculiar situation.We find ourselves in the embarrassing position of having to side with George Bush and the U.S. in all this......it's very disconcerting.
RTS:Bless your heart.
Peta:We would feel much better about all this if we could use the President as a whipping boy.Not to mention, we don't like having to side against the Communist Party of Canada.But,unfortunately,we've no other choice than to confront the C.P.C.. We've got our informants out trying to locate this group that freed Jadoit.
RTS:Rumor has it that they're hold-up in North Carolina.
Peta:I'm not at liberty to give away too many details, but this will come to a head very soon.We wanted to have a chance to let everyone hear our side before the manure came in contact with the rotary oscillator.
RTS: And I appreciate being able to be the first to blog this.....
Peta: Your blog is highly read and world renown and we felt it was the perfect vehicle to get our point across.
RTS: Thank you
Peta: No, thank you.

Jadoit Freed in Daring Jailbreak

I should have known this would happen.Just as soon as I leave for Iceland all Hell breaks loose in Georgia involving Heywood Jadoit.
According to the I.N.N. website, a group of armed men stormed the jail holding Jadoit and freed him before blowing up the jail.
The article places the blame for the jail break on the Communist Party of Canada. A link to the CPC website can be found at I.N.N. as well as links to a recorded interview with Dalton's Police Chief, Harley Able.
The link to that article is here.

My Interview with an Icelander

The event known to the world as 'Rasslin'-n-Reykjavik' is the biggest thing to happen in Iceland in more than a generation.Not since Ronald Reagan met Mikhail Gorbachev in 1986 has so much attention been focused on the small island nation.Eager to be part of this monumental event,the entire population of Reykjavik has gathered outside the University of Iceland building where the arm wrestling is due to take place.
I wanted to personally gauge the mood and feeling of the Icelandic people and have come to Reykjavik to photograph as much of the event as I can and interview a few of the locals.Not long after I arrived , I met with one such local by the name of Geir Hilmar Haarde who was happy to talk to me about what is going on in his city.

RTS:I suppose you're very excited by what's happening here.
Gier: Yes I am, this is great for Iceland.It gets so lonely up here and it's good to have company.It's boring seeing the same old faces.
RTS:Who are you supporting in the event? Do you and your fellow Icelanders have a preference as to which country wins?
Gier:We Icelanders normally try to stay neutral.But,while I can't speak for all my compatriots, I can tell you that I have to side against the Americans on this issue.
RTS: Why is that? Why this time? What's different?
Gier: Well, it's the problem we have with PETA. You know, they're really the cause of this whole debacle.
RTS: Can you elaborate ?
Gier: If you recall, it was PETA's interference with the folks in that small town in the U.S.....they pressured the community into adopting a law which led to the arrest of this Heywood Jadoit fellow.We Icelanders have had our own run ins with PETA.
RTS: How so ?
Gier:When Iceland resumed whaling, PETA had to put in their 2 cents worth.There were the protests and demonstrations. But what gets me, is the nature of there protests.Whenever PETA protests anybody they get these attractive women to dress up in those sexy animal costumes and demonstrate nearly half naked. I guess it was too cold for them to do that here.....like we're 2nd rate.
RTS: On the whaling issue...the U.S. was against you in that too....right?
Gier: Yeah , the U.S. and 24 other countries got their knickers in a twist over that. But , we're pretty much a laid-back people. We're not going to make a big deal out of all this.

World Leaders arrive in Iceland

As the headline on the I.N.N website reads, everything is "All is set for 'Rasslin'-n-Reykjavik'".Leaders from all over the world have arrived in Iceland for the arm wrestling match between The United States and Canada.
This photo shows President Bush and First Lady,Laura Bush stepping off Airforce One in Keflavik.We see Mrs. Bush wearing the traditional lei given to her upon her arrival in Iceland. Few people outside Iceland know that the custom of presenting leis to tourists was introduced to Hawaii by Icelander Leif Erikson on his first visit to Honolulu in 1001.
For more details on the story go to the I.N.N link.Click here.

The Canadian PM has 2nd Thoughts

Details of the upcoming contest between the Canadian Prime Minister and the President of the United States have come slowly.It was just yesterday that I received this photo of the table the two will be using for their first arm wrestling match in Iceland.
As most of you know, this contest is an attempt to prevent a war between the two nations over the so-called "Heywood Jadoit" affair. (Links are provided for those unfamiliar with the situation)
When I received the photo I assumed it was another concession to the Canadian Govt. by the U.S. Most consider the choice of Iceland as the location of the contest as an advantage for the Canadians.However, I've received another email from the Canadian PM Stephen Harper,and it appears the Canadians feel the Americans are getting the upper hand. As with his last email, I've pasted this new email onto my blog.

From: pm@pm.gc.ca
To: sorryalltheclevernamesaretaken@blogspot.com
Cc:
Bcc:
Subject: 2nd thoughts
Date: July,2nd 2007

Hi,
I'm writing to you, mainly to vent and get this off my chest.Even though this contest is between the U.S. and Canada, it's the U.S. President who is getting all the positive press. Oh, he's so wonderful for coming up with the idea and blah blah blah. Like I didn't have any say in what's going down.
I will say, that we Canadians are being taken advantage of by the Yanks.Everyone thinks it's a plus for us that the games are in Iceland. Not!!!!
We tried to have the contest in the U.S. but they wouldn't hear of it. Pretending that they were being so high and mighty by going to a neutral country.Truth is , they know good and well that we can't afford a boat or plane ticket to Iceland. It would have been easy enough finding a ride into the States.There's always somebody crossing the border......easy enough for me to bum a ride.
The Americans think they're so clever. They think they'll win by default because we can't make it to Reykjavik.Well,we'll get there some how.Heck, if the readers of your blog would just go to the Canadian Govt website and click on a few of the Google ads on the site we'd have enough money for a ticket.The link goes to an old posting of mine, but the ads are still kept up to date.

Thanks, again for letting me blow off steam,
Stephen Harper.